It is a myth that you have to be a people person to be successful in real estate, or that you’ve got to be outgoing, gregarious, and socially confident to be great sales. Some of the most successful top-producing agents and brokers in the country are self-proclaimed introverts.
How do you know if you’re a natural introvert or extrovert?
Ask yourself what you’d do if you had no appointments this weekend and no worries in the world with plenty of time to spend doing something of your choice. Would you choose to spend that time with friends and family? Would you choose to spend the time by yourself? Going to a party? Throwing a party yourself? What would your plans be? If your plans are focused on being around other people, you’re likely a natural extrovert. If your plans are to finish that book you’ve been working on and snuggle into your favorite reading chair, you’re probably a natural introvert.
Would it surprise you to know that all of these famous and successful people are introverts? This includes Emma Watson, Bill Gates, Christina Aguilera, Warren Buffet, Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Gwyneth Paltrow, Harrison Ford, and Steven Speilberg. Introverts can be very powerful speakers, salespeople, entertainers, entrepreneurs, actors, and leaders of all sorts.
How do they do it? Is there some super secret strategy that you can learn and deploy? Susan Cain, writer of the book: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking,” was chosen as one of the top TED talks ever. According to her, no one is 100% introverted or extroverted. Many people are a mix but probably tend strongly toward one of the other. Society has long rewarded the more outgoing, attention-grabbing types of personalities and tended to ostracize introverts. Cain says it’s OK and even beneficial to be yourself — to not try to force yourself into becoming the quintessential ‘Driver Personality’ if that is not you.
How many agents have become frustrated because they ‘weren’t a driver or an expressive’ on the overly used and sometimes abused DISC personality test? AgentDISC.com will give you a free assessment so you can learn more about yourself and your own tendencies, but remember, this is a guide, not a diagnosis. You can be successful, keeping your innate personality intact, but learning and internalizing some specific strategies. This way you’ll navigate more easily in the fast-paced, often aggressive, and competitive world of real estate.
Strategies that will change your life
1. Have confidence in the person you are. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the less you will allow criticism to affect you. Stop believing you have to radically change your personality, you only need to upgrade it and become more versatile. Be yourself first, then be you, talking about real estate.
2. Use scripts that don’t sound like scripts. Know your material cold. Knowledge equals confidence and ignorance equals fear, so choose to be confident. Introverts do tend to be perfectionists, thus you tend NOT to speak up until you’re confident. Memorize, internalize, and then personalize the scripts.
3. Recharge your mental, emotional, and spiritual batteries every day. What makes you tick? Introverts are rejuvenated by quiet, dedicated time to themselves. This can be a walk, meditating, biking or just reading for 20 minutes. Re-fill your cup routinely!
4. Accept and embrace the fact that you will hear ‘no’ more than you hear ‘yes’, and that ‘no’ is not ‘never’, it’s just ‘not now’. Stop taking everything personally. Have at least 5 conversations every day that you could hear ‘no’, and you’ll hear ‘yes’ more.
5. Act as if you’re an extrovert without losing yourself. Who do you know that has positive and outgoing traits and is well respected? Begin to blend your natural tendencies with a few other traits that will increase your versatility. This isn’t to say that you should be fake. You might find out that you have some latent outgoing traits already within you. Most people do. Research conducted by John Zelenski, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Carleton University, has found that introverts who act like extroverts, for example, by being more sociable, talkative, energetic, and enthusiastic than they are naturally, see their happiness increase. This is likely due to the positive feedback they receive from their peers. It may also be because they know they’re becoming more comfortable in the company of other outgoing types of people.
Secret: The wealthiest real estate professionals, in fact, the wealthiest salespeople in general, are not introverted or extroverted, they simply have become a versatile combination of both, because they’ve studied and adapted over time.
How does their versatility translate into wealth? Simply because they can help a variety of different people with different personality traits in various situations. They don’t work only with people ‘just like them’. When you work on your versatility, you’re also working on your ability to earn more money and reach bigger and better goals through helping as many people as possible.
Tim and Julie Harris host a podcast for real estate professionals in the U.S. New episodes premier every weekday. Tim and Julie have been real estate coaches for more than two decades, coaching the top agents in the country through all types of markets.
